He and I were sexting during this time, even exchanging naked pictures. Then we set up a day to meet. I texted him that day and got no reply until later that evening when he said he was sick. The next day nothing, then the next nothing, and then the next day nothing. Now, during this time I decided to snoop. (I so wish I had done this earlier when I had his phone number). I took his phone number and plugged it into Facebook. I found him. He had lied about his name and how long he had been married, and he had even sent me a picture of his wife that was not her. Yet, all the pictures of him matched up. I sent him a text asking him to kindly delete all my pics. No reply. Then I sent him another text saying, “Look, Brian, I would hate for your wife, whom you lied about, to get all the logs of our texts and the pictures we sent. I saved every text into pdf form so that my husband could read them, remember.” Then I attached their recent wedding pic from her Facebook page because they just got married in October, not eight years ago like he told me.
I finally got a reply saying he had deleted all the pics, and I thanked him. Now, here is my dilemma: My husband and I asked him numerous times if his wife knew about him having a threesome with us and he said yes. If I were she, and we were not in an open marriage where we approve everything between us, I would want to know that my husband just cheated on me. I feel that what he just did was cheating. Even my husband agrees and told me to send her all the logs and pics. I know this could give me blow back and I know this will cause problems in their marriage, but at the same time I feel she has a right to know that only four and one half months into their marriage he is doing this. What say you? — Thwarted Threesome
No, do no contact the wife. You don’t even know these people and their relationship/marriage is none of your business. And beyond that, you have no idea what this guy — or his wife — are capable of, and, lest you forget, you sent him naked pictures of yourself. Just because he said he deleted them doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth. He knows your name, your husband’s name, your contact information, and whatever other personal info you shared with him (or that is available for him to find online) and he had/has naked images of you. I’d think that alone should be enough persuasion for you to just MOA.
And take this as a lesson that, next time, be more discerning in your search for a threesome partner and don’t be so quick to share images or information you want to keep private. If you’re going to search potential strangers for a threesome partner, do your “snooping” (otherwise known as investigating or researching) early on, before you agree to meet and certainly before you exchange naked photos.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.